Etiquette brings to mind classic novels in which manners are mind-numbingly proper. A gentleman kisses a lady’s hand or the little pinky is held away from the glass.

That’s a bad rap. Etiquette is simply the social lubricant that helps people from different backgrounds get along. It doesn’t have to be prim and stuffy.

“Etiquette in the business arena is a set of rules that keeps order in a company,” says Dorothea Johnson, president of the Protocol School of Washington. “When you have a set of rules to go by, fewer mistakes are made” that can offend others.

Etiquette can slide up the scale to formal protocol, where the rules can be very detailed indeed. But that’s a rare situation for most people.

Alinda Lewris, president of the International Association of Protocol Consultants, calls everyday business etiquette simply “an approach to life” based on being polite and kind.

We can all do that.