Networking is a terrific way to meet potential business contacts without pressure. But just like anything else, effective networking requires finesse—and the social graces still apply.

You’ll want to dress properly for a networking gathering, of course. Potential clients aren’t impressed with jeans and sloppy T-shirt. Networking events require at least nice business casual dress.

Part of finesse is balance. You want to be forthright enough to introduce yourself around, rather than waiting to be approached, yet you don’t want to suffocate potential clients with your attentions. Be friendly, but mix and mingle.

Certainly ask for referrals. Most people are glad to help, but don’t just presume Joe will give you one. He’ll tell you if he doesn’t know you or the other person well enough.

When you make a great contact, wait a few days, then follow up once or twice. If nothing comes of it, thank him, then move on.

With all the other means of instant communication today, the impact of a sincere handwritten thank you note is often overlooked. Keep simple note cards handy to pen a thanks for any help proffered, even if nothing pans out. Not only does it set you apart from the myriads who won’t bother, but it’s also something tangible that people remember.

And give as much as you get. As Donna Fisher, author of Networking for Dummies, noted in a New York Times article, “I tell people to ask, thank and offer, in every single conversation, even if it’s just saying: ‘Thank you. Now, what can I do for you?’ Most often, people will tell you that they don’t need anything, but the point is that you offered, and that alone may set you apart.”

Networking is often conducted by phone or e-mail as well, and that’s fine. Just observe courtesy, respect the other person’s time and offer to help in return.

As in all business etiquette, courtesy and politeness are the bottom line.