Choosing the right virtual assistant is as important as hiring the right employee. And the processes have much in common.

Since you can’t meet the candidates, keep your ears particularly cocked to the subtleties.

“Pay attention to what’s said and unsaid,” advises Stacy Brice, president of AssistU, which trains and certifies virtual assistants. “You’ll be entrusting your business to someone you haven’t met, and you want that person to be trustworthy and have the background you need.”

It’s a good sign when the VA interviews you as much as you do her. They are, after all, independent business people who have their own views about how their business should grow.

“If they just say, ‘Yes, yes, that’s fine. Hire me,’ they probably aren’t as knowledgeable as they should be,” says Alexandria Brown, who uses a VA. “A good VA should ask lots of questions to see how you work and the equipment you have. They don’t take everyone.”

Get references—and check them. Some VAs, though, may balk if you ask for a formal background check because of the ease today of identity theft. If you insist, she may want to check you out first.

Ask for work samples similar to what you’ll need, and about their depth of experience in those areas.

Find out how they’ll handle the annoying chores you want to pass off.

Probe work style. Since you can’t dictate to a VA, it’s important that your attitudes match naturally. Do you have the same values? The same expectations of the relationship?

Ask open-ended “what if” questions because there will be times when you aren’t available and the VA must solve problems creatively.

Make sure your software, e-mail program and office equipment are compatible so you can zap things back and forth as easily as walking into the next cubicle.

Compatibility is vital. Does conversation flow easily? Listen for the little nuances. Says VA Marie Schultz of Michigan, “If it doesn’t feel like it will fit, it probably won’t.”

Check also for continuing education courses the VA has taken since last certified. VAs are required to recertify periodically, and continuing education credit is part of that. As Angela Allen, vice president of the International Virtual Assistants Association notes, “Software changes with every version. To do their job, they must stay current.”

Ultimately, trust your gut. Brown interviewed five VAs, “and when I talked with Liz, we just clicked,” she says. “When you find the right VA, you’ll know. It will feel right.”